The thing about falling in love
Well, I’ve
been hoping about „growing up“ for a long time now, because I couldn’t really
accept the fact that I always lose my shit when a nice guy walks by.
That’s a thing which some people just simply call falling in love but I don’t really think that's how it works.
Despite the fact that we’ve probably all been in love once - well at least we thought somebody is hot in our opinion - it’s never something you get used to.
Maybe because it’s just biology rushing through your body and causing panic... Well at least in my body.
After reading at least 20 romantic books I expect to know how love works, but until a moment, which happend more than recently, I actually thought it would be horrifying and connected with panic.
That’s why I was always scared of falling and love and to be honest still am.
I’ve liked a few boys and always had the feeling that they were, in a weird way, I don’t know, ahead of me and don’t really like me the way I do.
I never felt like I could actually be a part of their life, so I always hoped to meet a person which kinda fits into my life the way I would fit in his.
This always seemed like a really high expectation to me but - as you probably know - at some point in life everything can change just by one person walking down the street.
It actually scares me that the panic went away very fast but it was still weird. Friends told me that my reaction of being calm is just the exception of maybe being in love but I don’t think thats the point.
I think it’s just the fact that there’s a person I could accept to be in my life in ANY kind of ways.
And that’s the point.
I don’t like the idea of falling in love or being with someone just because someone says „hey, you fit together“. I like meeting someone and then go „well, he’s nice, let’s wait if there’s more“, because I think that the way anything should start of. I’m open for finding out we’re perfect for each other but if it’s a person who fit’s in my life, I would be happy about having a good friend aswell.
I’m really surprised by this conclusion because I expected my usual thinking. Usually I think if I don’t start dating this person, I will love him.
But maybe this thinking has also to do with the person everything is owed to. So maybe it’s just about meeting the right person at the right time to find good friend for life or the person I want to be with.
And maybe there is nothing wrong with me and my reactions.
It’s just that I haven’t meet the right person for feeling good, well until now.
That’s a thing which some people just simply call falling in love but I don’t really think that's how it works.
Despite the fact that we’ve probably all been in love once - well at least we thought somebody is hot in our opinion - it’s never something you get used to.
Maybe because it’s just biology rushing through your body and causing panic... Well at least in my body.
After reading at least 20 romantic books I expect to know how love works, but until a moment, which happend more than recently, I actually thought it would be horrifying and connected with panic.
That’s why I was always scared of falling and love and to be honest still am.
I’ve liked a few boys and always had the feeling that they were, in a weird way, I don’t know, ahead of me and don’t really like me the way I do.
I never felt like I could actually be a part of their life, so I always hoped to meet a person which kinda fits into my life the way I would fit in his.
This always seemed like a really high expectation to me but - as you probably know - at some point in life everything can change just by one person walking down the street.
It actually scares me that the panic went away very fast but it was still weird. Friends told me that my reaction of being calm is just the exception of maybe being in love but I don’t think thats the point.
I think it’s just the fact that there’s a person I could accept to be in my life in ANY kind of ways.
And that’s the point.
I don’t like the idea of falling in love or being with someone just because someone says „hey, you fit together“. I like meeting someone and then go „well, he’s nice, let’s wait if there’s more“, because I think that the way anything should start of. I’m open for finding out we’re perfect for each other but if it’s a person who fit’s in my life, I would be happy about having a good friend aswell.
I’m really surprised by this conclusion because I expected my usual thinking. Usually I think if I don’t start dating this person, I will love him.
But maybe this thinking has also to do with the person everything is owed to. So maybe it’s just about meeting the right person at the right time to find good friend for life or the person I want to be with.
And maybe there is nothing wrong with me and my reactions.
It’s just that I haven’t meet the right person for feeling good, well until now.
_____________________________________________________________________________
This has been a blog post by one of my good friends Caro.
She is not just a nice human being, but also a blogger, check it out here:
http://time-and-tea.blogspot.de/
there will be some more blog posts about love, sexuality, gender (and everything you want to read or write about) in terms of this topics in the following weeks -
I'll try my best to write something about it, but i'm the jon snow of sexual orientation and gender issues, so please, if you are interested in writing about it or know things the world should know, contact me via facebook or twitter or in the comments and you can give your words a place to be heared and (almost) every opinion will get published \o/
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