Fun Halloween Costume : bisexual feminist!

Lili 3:17 AM , , , No comments
http://dbystedt.files.wordpress.com/2010/08/halloween-graveyard-monster-1.jpg
You'll need:

  • an opinion and a loud, angry voice
  • the ability to fall in love with  exactly two people, not more and not less, that's what the "bi" stands for
  • a resting bitch face to let everyone know that you're so done with this world
  • a list of all the people you slept with (you can write that whenever you are not discussing human rights or cute underwear, you must be prepared to proof your bisexuality to anyone at anytime)
  • a fresh drink of male tears (because as a feminist,you want to see all man suffer, as a bisexual you are always sooo thirsty and as a human being you need to stay hydrated)
  • snacks (because world domination can be very exhausting)
  • enough sleep (every night with someone else.that is very important, to keep the stereotype of the cheating bisexual alive)
Now that you have the basics, you need an outfit that screams i'm-ready-for-a-threesome-but-i'll-crush-you-if-you-got-a-penis and the best way to achieve this look is a cute dress with which you can attract all your future ex-partners and some heavy boots to later crush the patriarchy.

 To get you into the right mindset, watch 'all cheerleaders die' and appreciate the fact, that most of the men get eaten and the women are fine without them. Maybe it inspires you to die, come back as a zombie and have hot sex with other females on a graveyard."Eat me (out)" gets a whole new meaning.

 If you're not familiar with being open about your sexuality and/or a bit promiscuous, watch 'the rocky horror picture show' and get ready for a (sexual) adventure that's out of this world!

Important:

  • Please do not underestimate the danger of this costume, on one hand it can make you very confused, because what if the woman you fall for has a penis or the man you like has non, which of them do you need to kill now in order to keep your status as a raging feminist and which one can you use for a meaningless affair (which you need to have every full moon with both, someone of your own and someone of another gender, to keep your bisxuality real) ?
  • On the other hand, be careful, now that you can basically fall in love with anyone at any minute, no matter if that person is a man,a woman or non-binary, you can't be stopped, save yourself from STDs, children and heartbreak. Try to only fall in love once a day.

If you keep all of this in your mind,nothing stops you from being the centre of every halloween party \o/
It'll cost you:

  • all your friends, because you can't be friends with someone you could also fall in love with, so prepare to be alone a lot
  • your father, brother and every other male family member, as a feminist you can't love them anymore and it's your duty to destroy them
  • your heterosexual privilege, because you're not straight anmore
  • a save place in the LGBT community because you're not gay enough
  • your right to call yourself a human being, because it's just a phase, it's all just a phase and now you're a moon
  • the abilty to have a long-term relationship, because you just have to cheat and can't be monogam
  • at least one threesome, that's what the world expects from you
But on the brigth side - you'll have the scariest costume of them all, you are a threat to society and to everything traditional, happy halloween!


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there will be some blog posts about sexuality, gender (and everything you want to read or write about) in terms of this topics in the following week -
I'll try my best to write something about it, but i'm the jon snow of sexual orientation and gender issues, so please, if you are interested in writing about it or know things the world should know, contact me via facebook or twitter or in the comments and you can give your words a place to be heared and (almost) every opinion will get published \o/

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