Rules for girls

Lili 8:10 AM , , , No comments
Rule #1



Slut – someone who has a lot of sexual intercourse.

Oh be careful, you don’t wanna look like someone who gets laid a lot – 

What will the people think? 

That you are a desireable, attractive woman who lives her life the way she wants??

And oh my god how do you dare to enjoy sex?!




#Tipoftheday

Remember, a skirt that’s too short says so much about you,
 like that you have no dignity, that you are a prostitute and easy to get 
– or maybe it just says that you got legs and aren’t afraid to be proud of them. 
You show those legs, 
you got great legs, 
they do a perfect job walking you around! 
You go legs!

Rule #2



Well, first of all - how about you shave your nasty attitude?
if you think like this, your penis  most certainly is not for the ladies.

Second of all, how dare you to comment on a women's or just on another human's body, why do you think it's okay to force your rules upon me and my luscious leg hair?
if i want to shave, i will
if i want to be hairless in summer and cosy and fluffy in winter, so it will be.
if i want to keep every single piece of hair on every part of my body where i grew it over the years - then i'll even braid it for you.



Rule #3




Oh I will. 
If he needs head so bad, I will cut of his own head and hand it to him as a present 
- no existence without head.
Or I will use my head, put his penis in my mouth and bite it off, 
make him bleed more than you do in 'that time of the month'




Rule #4
Don’t think about your health, girl.
The most important thing is that you stay attractive. 
You could lay off the drugs because they are bad for your body and for your mental health, because they can ruin your life, your relationships, your future and they are fluffing expensive
 – but don’t think about that, think about how you need to be attractive for a straight male, 
and how that’s your only purpose in life.

#ProTip
Maybe he's into drugs and thinks that smoking looks hot, 
in that case buy all seasons of "Breaking Bad" and start doing meth asap.



Rule #5


Same here. 
Being attractive is rule number one no matter what. 
You little shithead are not fucking allowed to use curse words 
because that makes you damn unappealing for guys 
and you really need to appear like you give a fuck about those assholes. 
#justsaying

Rule #6

Don’t show your feelings, 
don’t treat him with respect 
and remember to hide your fondness of him. 
Be mean to him, act like you don’t care about him, hurt him.
The best thing would be if you could just ignore him and then one day 
surprisingly kill his best friend, kidnap his pet and destroy his car. 
Just that, without any explanation. 
They like it the hard way, don’t they?



Rule #7



Recent studies show – if you poop, you got an ass. 
In conclusion - you are all allowed to wear leggings! 


#PersonalTip

My own studies show: most of the men and women out there have a butt. 
A great butt. 
But that could just be me, I like butts.

Free the butt and dare to touch it, as long as they're consent!







Rule #8



Don’t you dare to speak up 
or to open your mouth 
or to use your brain 
or to be a human being with a free will. 
Don’t talk to guys when they don’t talk to you first. 
Don’t be polite or friendly, ignore your male friends unless they talk to you first. 
Imagine what a quite place this world could be.



Rule #9


A girl should never know something a guy doesn’t and a guy should never seek help. 
A guy is not allowed to not care about cars 
and a girl is supposed stare at a flat tire blankly 
until a knight in shining armour comes and rescues her. 
She doesn’t know what a tire is.
He doesn’t know what a tire is.

Nobody knows how to change a tire, nobody knows what a car is

- we just time traveled.

It’s the year 1465 and we don’t have cars yet, 
but gender stereotypes still exist.






Rule #10



Open books about legs, 
open your legs and close books, 
close your legs and write a book about blowing guys, 
blow up their legs and open guys, look at their insides and sell their organs, 
open books with your legs while blowing minds with your skills of blowing guys.



Rule #11



 That’s right, nobody likes cute people or cute puppies, 
look at him like you want to murder his family, 
act like you are a serial killer.
that will turn him on…or scare him off, 
but either way he’ll remember you.



Rule #12


 That’s right, charge him for just looking at you, 
take his money for talking to you 
and make him pay if he ever comes near  you.





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My secret tip of the day, month, year, lifetime:


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