Every day battles others may not even know you’re fighting
anxiety
,
depression
,
dragon
,
fairytale
,
fighting
,
i hope you have a great day
,
let's not think about game of thrones
,
mental illness
,
self-harm
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There’s not always a dragon you need to fight, sometimes it’s the knight who needs protection from himself
Your castle
is in ruins.
It hurts with every move you make.
The blanket is your amour.
Your
only weapon the few positive thoughts, influenced by the medicine you cherish
too much,
because it stops you from losing your mind completely.
You struggle to get your shit together, get anything done, to get over it, and it feels like cheating on life,
breaking the
promises your made to yourself when you were six and still wanted to go on adventures,
it feels like giving up because you can’t get up anymore.
Spending
your afternoons rolled up in bed, sipping bitter tasting tea to calm your
nerves,
even though you're sweating like this place is hell on earth - which it
actually may be -
trying to keep the food down and your head up
trying to keep the food down and your head up
when walking down the street of
your neighbourhood,
counting your breaths and steps
and still falling and
failing way too often at the simple task of staying alive.
At night, by the toilet,
At night, by the toilet,
friday evening alone at home in front of the tv
- this
is what fighting looks like.
Choking on your own mind, having trouble to
breathe,
making it somehow and being exhausted from just existing
- this is how
surviving feels like.
No dragon to slay, still you're wearing battle wounds,
No monster to kill, and still you’re afraid of not making it through the night
No Prince or Princess you need to rescue in order to fall in love with them
No dragon to slay, still you're wearing battle wounds,
No monster to kill, and still you’re afraid of not making it through the night
No Prince or Princess you need to rescue in order to fall in love with them
because you can’t even love the person in the mirror and saving yourself is
struggle enough.
Waiting, facing treatment, eating, sleeping, breathing, showering, making the decision not to cry today, again – that’s the battle.
Waiting, facing treatment, eating, sleeping, breathing, showering, making the decision not to cry today, again – that’s the battle.
Living despite of everything, this is the adventure.
Hug the
dragon, forget the prince(ss), polish your armour and do it for yourself,
for
your fairytale of a life, do it for the 6-years-old-version of you
and I
promise you, you’ll get your happily ever after.
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