Sex sells - Who are we judging more,the producer or the consumer?

Lili 11:49 AM , , , , , No comments

Now would be the perfect time for a disclaimer: [Right now, as i'm editing this, i'm deliriously tired, the english language is a mystery to me and i make probably 26478 mistakes - forgive me]
I don’t know enough about the human mind, to understand the fascination or the motivation behind it completely, and let’s not even start with the whole machinery, the system behind manipulating and providing the service of making things seem like something, to get the right thing out of it. I won’t talk about the way some people in this business might be treated, the health or mental issues, the suicide rates, or how much the human rights of the actresses/actors are respected in general. That’s a whole other topic.

There are different ways of selling yourself and I’ve written the following  thoughts down, after watching too many documentaries about weird jobs, manipulating personalities and extraordinary lifestyles, so be warned, it may get confusing.

But let’s start simple: Sex sells. We all know this phrase and most of us believe in it.
It seems so naïve, to think that the human kind, which has brought the world scientist and philosophers, still is most influenced by the simple act of reproducing and everything associated with it, but it is the truth. We are slaves to our hormones and willing to give in to those simple pleasures of bodily functions.

Pornography, does this even need explaining? It’s about selling the (pretended) act of sex via webcam, photos, videos on the internet or even in real life.
Think about it for a moment.
Who started this? When did people decide to make sex a business?
Is it a clever investment, to give yourself to a industry, that makes tons of money with a “dirty”image and dealing with things you may never be able to address in public or only in front of a certain group of people (hey, the positive side; there will probably always be a market for it)?
Why is it a taboo?
Do you have second thoughts about whether it’s “right” or does it collide with you religion or moral concept?
If so,why? What makes you think, that naked bodies and sexualizing or objectiving human beings is wrong?
How do you feel reading this?
Excited? Ashamed?
Which part disgusts you? The (wo)man who performs the sexual act, or the person who finds pleasure in watching it?
Which one is the “better” person? Which one is ‘above’ or ‘under’ the other ( no pun intended), in control and earns the money?
Which one are you?
This is a general question in life, who are we judging more? The producer or the consumer?

One thing that I’ve witnessed multiply times is the fact that (mostly) women are living out stereotypes and clichés, to satisfy the sexual needs of the other gender, to manipulate and play with thoughts and fulfilling fantasies, to get money for their bills.
I thought a while now about this topic and until this day I’m very ambivalent about how some people chose to make their living – not because I have such high morals (haha,let’s be honest) but because of how it shapes society.

Rinsing, the act of using your feminine charme and beauty to get money from (rich) men.
It’s never connected with sex. The women know this. No physically affection, no making out, just talking and friendship. They allow the men to spend time with them and to shower them in gifts.
The simple deal of: you can admire her and decorate yourselves with a pretty girl. Nothing more.

Is it a power thing? A way to feel alive?
Do guys think, they can buy affection and sexual favors with money and courtesy?
Do women think, they really have that much power and control about the male, heterosexual population, that they can use them, based on the theory that  they are superficial and think with their penis?
Do people on either side have had a traumatic childhood, a mental problem or is there any psychological explanation joining this business?
Are those people less worthy than others?
And who exactly sells and gains what? Souls? Bodies? Time? Love?

On the one hand, I’m deeply impressed by those women, who can play their charm and their attractiveness to make a living out of basically nothing, out of just existing and smiling and making men believe, that there is something,  that actually does not exist.
On the other hand the thought of people being able to act a  certain way and doing everything, just to make other people believe something, to be someone they are clearly not for the entertainment of others disturbs me and I was utterly shocked by how far and popular  this has gotten.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m aware of the fact, that acting and the whole movie industry is based on people playing pretend, but the difference between cinematic art and real life performances is that the actors and the viewers all know that it’s only fiction, whereas the victims and aren’t always enlightened about what’s going on, because that’s the trick.

Another disclaimer: I have no clue, if everybody knows exactly what’s happening, nor am I sure that I know it, I’m questioning if the following transactions are a fair deal, or if it’s even safe to play pretend, because remember, not everybody knows who else is wearing a mask.


Why is it happening? Is it a biological thing? Something only our society has?
Some of the documentaries, I’ve watched or some of the articles I read about this topic have been so far from the reality that i experienced, I’d never thought, that there were people who would pay lots of money, to see someone talking, masturbating or just existing, who’d spend their time and effort in presents for complete strangers without seeing them ever in their life and just getting high on the thought of  influencing  them.
It all seems so weird to me – but is it that really? Don’t most of us pay a huge amount of money each year to watch movies or go on concerts? Is this kind of performance really sooo different?
Aren’t we all constantly watching and interacting with other human beings? Why are some things taboos and other pop culture?
Where is the borderline between rinsing or porn and movie stars or singers?


Is it so morally wrong and sick, or are those people just honest and  show us our real selves – 
manipulative, twisted minded ,horny, desperate for attention and affection?
Maybe we are the actors in our daily lives, maybe we hide behind masks of innocence.
Perhaps we only pretend to be “better” but on the inside we can relate to one of those sides, or even both and would do everything they do in a heartbeat, if we only had the opportunity?

Has this blogpost been controversial? 
Unusual? Unexpected?
Why?
Think about it, before you judge.

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