I'm a man, so .... i'm a woman, that means....
"I hate being friends with other women, they are always bitching around and so stressful - i rather be friends with guys, they are so chilled1!11!11"
"It's great to have so many female friends, they can go shopping with me and gossip 11!!11"
"Having male friends is so important to me, finally someone to who understands my passion for video games, girls just don't get 1!!1!!11"
"Ugh, i need to befriend more girls, none of the boys can talk about feelings and all that other girly stuff 1111!!!!1"
I love those sentences. I really do.
They stand for everything in today's society i want to fight against.
Being a man or a woman means nothing except for the fact that that human being identifies as either a man or a woman but it says nothing about their personality, behaviour or hobbies.
It doesn't even tell you anything about their genitals, not about their sexual preferences or their favorite colour.
Do i really need to tell you,that there are men who are perfectly fine with talking about emotional issues and women, who couldn't care less about fashion and make-up?
Is it necessary to remind you, that there are men you hate sports and computer games and girls who rather spent there weekend in front of the playstation, drinking beer, than talking about their love life?
All those stereotypes mean nothing and you are not a special snowflake for being "different than the other girls" or dumb for being girly and enjoying certain activities.
I thought that this was easy to understand, but some people out there still feel the need to categorize and generalize other because of their gender and i can't even express how wrong that is.
This is beyond hurting feelings, this is a matter of knowledge and logic.
Think about it that way - it is impossible for all people who identify as a female to be the same and unlikely for them to be in any way alike just because of their gender.
There are millions of people on this planet and yes, many of them share interests, personality traits, facial features and even experiences, but not necessarily because of their gender (unless oppressors force rules and stereotypes upon a certain group who share one or more traits like their gender, skin colour or religion, but this is a whole other topic we probably will discuss at some point in the future).
Nobody benefits from these stereotype,s but men and women suffer because of the discrepancy between the expectations of others and their own wishes and beliefs.
My point is, don't. Just don't. Don't feed the patriarchy with your behaviour or thoughts.
_________________________________________________________________________
there will be some blog posts about sexuality, gender (and everything you want to read or write about) in terms of this topics in the following week -
I'll try my best to write something about it, but i'm the jon snow of sexual orientation and gender issues, so please, if you are interested in writing about it or know things the world should know, contact me via facebook or twitter or in the comments and you can give your words a place to be heared and (almost) every opinion will get published \o/
Fun Halloween Costume : bisexual feminist!
 |
| http://dbystedt.files.wordpress.com/2010/08/halloween-graveyard-monster-1.jpg |
You'll need:
- an opinion and a loud, angry voice
- the ability to fall in love with exactly two people, not more and not less, that's what the "bi" stands for
- a resting bitch face to let everyone know that you're so done with this world
- a list of all the people you slept with (you can write that whenever you are not discussing human rights or cute underwear, you must be prepared to proof your bisexuality to anyone at anytime)
- a fresh drink of male tears (because as a feminist,you want to see all man suffer, as a bisexual you are always sooo thirsty and as a human being you need to stay hydrated)
- snacks (because world domination can be very exhausting)
- enough sleep (every night with someone else.that is very important, to keep the stereotype of the cheating bisexual alive)
Now that you have the basics, you need an outfit that screams i'm-ready-for-a-threesome-but-i'll-crush-you-if-you-got-a-penis and the best way to achieve this look is a cute dress with which you can attract all your future ex-partners and some heavy boots to later crush the patriarchy.
To get you into the right mindset, watch 'all cheerleaders die' and appreciate the fact, that most of the men get eaten and the women are fine without them. Maybe it inspires you to die, come back as a zombie and have hot sex with other females on a graveyard."Eat me (out)" gets a whole new meaning.
If you're not familiar with being open about your sexuality and/or a bit promiscuous, watch 'the rocky horror picture show' and get ready for a (sexual) adventure that's out of this world!
Important:
- Please do not underestimate the danger of this costume, on one hand it can make you very confused, because what if the woman you fall for has a penis or the man you like has non, which of them do you need to kill now in order to keep your status as a raging feminist and which one can you use for a meaningless affair (which you need to have every full moon with both, someone of your own and someone of another gender, to keep your bisxuality real) ?
- On the other hand, be careful, now that you can basically fall in love with anyone at any minute, no matter if that person is a man,a woman or non-binary, you can't be stopped, save yourself from STDs, children and heartbreak. Try to only fall in love once a day.
If you keep all of this in your mind,nothing stops you from being the centre of every halloween party \o/
It'll cost you:
- all your friends, because you can't be friends with someone you could also fall in love with, so prepare to be alone a lot
- your father, brother and every other male family member, as a feminist you can't love them anymore and it's your duty to destroy them
- your heterosexual privilege, because you're not straight anmore
- a save place in the LGBT community because you're not gay enough
- your right to call yourself a human being, because it's just a phase, it's all just a phase and now you're a moon
- the abilty to have a long-term relationship, because you just have to cheat and can't be monogam
- at least one threesome, that's what the world expects from you
But on the brigth side - you'll have the scariest costume of them all, you are a threat to society and to everything traditional, happy halloween!
_________________________________________________________________________
there will be some blog posts about sexuality, gender (and everything you want to read or write about) in terms of this topics in the following week -
I'll try my best to write something about it, but i'm the jon snow of sexual orientation and gender issues, so please, if you are interested in writing about it or know things the world should know, contact me via facebook or twitter or in the comments and you can give your words a place to be heared and (almost) every opinion will get published \o/
a letter about labels
 |
| © by the author |
Hello world.
Disclaimer: I’m using “gay” in this example
to make it easier to understand. It is not limited to this sexuality, it can be
transferred to everything on the LGBTQAP+ spectrum.
“Why do gay people so often write about
their sexuality or wear t-shirts? Why is it so important to them? Why do they
keep putting it in Twitter bios or mentioning it online or offline?”
If you have ever said this to anyone you
are most likely a straight person. And guess what. The world revolves around
you. You are the norm. Heteronormativity means that everyone is heterosexual by
default until proven otherwise.
So why do gay people do these things? Why
do they take pride in their sexuality even though it is “nothing they can
change”?
They do it, because in most of their
personal and professional environment they are ignored. Being heterosexual is
the norm, the socially acceptable standard. So if you’re gay, you always need
to fight for your space. Fight for your voice. Fight for people’s understanding
and acceptance of your sexuality.
Do you know how hard it is if almost
everyone around you is straight? Gay people need people of their own sexuality
to talk to, to share experiences with. Because there are experiences that ONLY
gay people have that no straight person could ever understand.
So why do people dedicate a Tumblr blog to
their sexuality? Maybe because in almost every other part of their life and as
soon as they leave the computer, it’s heterosexuality and nothing else. Their
sexuality is important to them because they have to defend it on a daily basis.
Because they are laughed at, ridiculed, harassed and much worse.
Why do people write it in their Twitter
bios? Maybe because they want to avoid homophobic followers from the start. For
many people their online activities are a safe space. So by putting this
information out there they are automatically making sure they know whether
people accept them or not.
If you have ever said “Sexuality shouldn’t
matter” then you’re probably straight. Because to YOU it doesn’t matter because
every little thing in society caters your sexuality. For many people it is
important to have a label, to have a word that describes how they feel and it
is damn important to them. By saying “It shouldn’t matter and we’re all the
same” you’re basically supporting the power dynamics of inequality between
heterosexuality and other sexualities.
Don’t tell gay people to shut up about
their sexuality. Don’t question their pride and don’t silence their voice.
Listen and do your best to fight against heteronormativity.
Yours sincerely,
An angry gay woman
_________________________________________________________________________
there will be some blog posts about sexuality, gender (and everything you want to read or write about) in terms of this topics in the following week -
I'll try my best to write something about it, but i'm the jon snow of sexual orientation and gender issues, so please, if you are interested in writing about it or know things the world should know, contact me via facebook or twitter or in the comments and you can give your words a place to be heared and (almost) every opinion will get published \o/
about being a sinking ship and an anchor for someone else
or a text about life savers without any actual ships or mention of the ocean.
with a picture of a laying mug but no spilled tea in the following text.it's a metaphor.
Times are
tough.
i seem to have nothing but bad luck and tragedies and everyone around me is struggling,too.
i seem to have nothing but bad luck and tragedies and everyone around me is struggling,too.
We are all in
so much trouble, busy with our own shit , trying to keep our head up somehow, trying to function in this society - some of us are able
to do that, some of us break down.
It’s hard to
suffer and to keep up your relationships, especially if you have different
problems and are not able to make it through the same things at the same time.
I thought a
lot about this, the past few days and about how friendships or relationships
work.
it’s supposed to be the “in good and bad times” but you are not married to any of your friends or partners and even in marriage people leave.
it’s supposed to be the “in good and bad times” but you are not married to any of your friends or partners and even in marriage people leave.
Self-care always
comes first and there is always the possibility of people leaving before
someone else’s downfall destroys them as well.
Listening to
someone and helping them should not be a challenge or uncomfortable. It should
come naturally.
You only
have a certain amount of energy, especially in hard months and dividing this
between yourself and others is not easy. You need to have priorities, spend
some time and attention on yourself and some on the most important people in
your life.
In healthy friendships, you should get the same amount of attention, love and caring back.
In healthy friendships, you should get the same amount of attention, love and caring back.
We all
know, that there are still those people in your life, who don’t really benefit
your mental health, in the sense that they only take but never give. There is
always that one person, you’d always listen to for hours without expecting
anything in return, because you love them and you worry about them, but actually
they are dead weight for you.
And to keep the balance, you have to find someone who’ll listen to whatever you have to say, who catches you when you fall, who takes care of you while you’re taking care of someone else.
And to keep the balance, you have to find someone who’ll listen to whatever you have to say, who catches you when you fall, who takes care of you while you’re taking care of someone else.
It’s never fair.
it should be the same person, there should be someone who takes as much as they give, who doesn’t care who talks more and who needs to listen, someone who loves you and who you love and where everything feels so naturally and comfortable, that you can talk about anything anytime without worrying about who’s turn to rant it is.
Why is it
so hard to find that one person?
I can only speak from my experience and oh boy, the trust issues are real.
It’s not just the what-will-they-think-of-me-when-they-know-how-weird-i-am-problem, but also the fear of rejection and the fear that the other person won’t fullfill your expectations.
It’s hard
to admit defeat and showing weakness and maybe tears is difficult for some
people. Not just the act of opening up, but also responding to someone who shows
you their emotional side.
You can say “oh, talk to me anytime, I’ll be there for you” once and it won’t even matter. Of course they say it, everyone says it, but that’s just the theory, reality is different. The chosen person needs so much strengths, patience and empathy but at the same time the ability to keep a distance because I don’t want to be the reason for someone else’s pain.
On the other
side, I’m so tired of listening to other people and always saying the same old
sentences about how they can do it and how someone else is worth it and I’m so
tired of keeping a distance to myself and others.
I don’t know what to say most of the time.
I have no clue how the world works or what’s right or wrong.
But I don’t think that anyone really knows what’s going on.
I don’t know what to say most of the time.
I have no clue how the world works or what’s right or wrong.
But I don’t think that anyone really knows what’s going on.
Aside from
advice, the only thing we can give each other is space (for emotions, honesty
and break-downs), an open-minded, save environment and enough time.
I want you to cry in front of me, I want you to break down and scream and tell me what you really think and everything that’s going on.
I need you to trust me and to show me your 3am-nothing-is-fine-at-all-personality because I am afraid to show any part of me to anyone anymore. I feel like I’m a mess and like everything is wrong with me and I need to know that you trust me so that I can maybe start trusting you.
I want you to cry in front of me, I want you to break down and scream and tell me what you really think and everything that’s going on.
I need you to trust me and to show me your 3am-nothing-is-fine-at-all-personality because I am afraid to show any part of me to anyone anymore. I feel like I’m a mess and like everything is wrong with me and I need to know that you trust me so that I can maybe start trusting you.
I want to
talk about how that escalated again, about how I’m showing too much again about
how I literally cry during every episode of grey’s anatomy but am unable to cry
about dead relatives and dying hope.
I feel the need to apologize, about how I always make this about me and too deep and not funny and how I must be viewed as this black hole that swallows all the light and that sucks the life out of everyone who comes near me, but I bottle so much up and I’m not able to talk about it and I feel so alone even though I lost count of how many people talk to me daily and with talking I mean meaningless exchange of pointless puns but no communication.
I feel the need to apologize, about how I always make this about me and too deep and not funny and how I must be viewed as this black hole that swallows all the light and that sucks the life out of everyone who comes near me, but I bottle so much up and I’m not able to talk about it and I feel so alone even though I lost count of how many people talk to me daily and with talking I mean meaningless exchange of pointless puns but no communication.
There will
always be people who don’t care, who won’t make time for you, who have
different priorities. There will always be people leaving and hurting and
bleeding all over someone new.
It’s important
to take time for yourself and to make time for others.
Don’t underestimate the time that you spend in your head, you need to sort some things for yourself out first, but don’t overestimate this process, either.
You could spent the time with friends in their heads, even though you might believe that it won’t really help you, trigger you and just stress you out more, sometimes you need to get a new perspective of (your) life through the eyes of a friend, by listening and by talking.
Don’t underestimate the time that you spend in your head, you need to sort some things for yourself out first, but don’t overestimate this process, either.
You could spent the time with friends in their heads, even though you might believe that it won’t really help you, trigger you and just stress you out more, sometimes you need to get a new perspective of (your) life through the eyes of a friend, by listening and by talking.
it's like the contrary of dying but you still kinda wanna be dead
What to
expect when you’re expecting an anxiety baby
or how does it feel like to have a
panic disorder
or how I’m trying not to lose my mind right now.
.jpg)
Anxiety itself
is a coping mechanism, it’s supposed to save you from unbearable things and
deadly situations. It’s a warning system, that tells you when to be careful and when
you are save.
But it also
can be your biggest enemy and a pain in the ass (let’s talk about that later).
Anxiety and
panic disorder are like the contrary of dying.
While depression
keeps your mood and your emotions down, your whole existence becomes silent and
ever part of you numb – panic lets you know that you are alive.
It screams and shakes
you up, makes you uneasy, you have the urge to move around and the thoughts are running through your head like
you are on drugs.
You feel everything intensely and all the time.
Throwing
up, fainting, hysterical crying, hyperventilating, shaking,sweating, headaches,
stomach ache - the worst symptoms basically without any cause.
Are you
dying? Ebola? Food poisoning?
Nope, just scared to death of nothing in
particular.
And not
just when you are faced with any kind of “””challenge”””” like getting up or
showering, doing the groceries or talking to your family – nope, if you’re a pro
you can get them at any given moment, even without a trigger!
It’s like
an unpleasant surprise party in your body whenever your mind feels like it.
And if you have that for a few years, you get
nice sideeffects, like blood in your poo because your digestive system is not
able to cope with the”unusual” activity, gastric ulcer or any kind of inflammation
in your bowel just because your body is not built to deal with this kind of
terror every day over a long period of time.
Don’t even get me started on heart diseases,
because your circulation will not approve on your day to day stress levels - which are higher than the stress level of a normal person sitting in an exam or
before an operation - you heart has a lot to do: Irregular heart beat, feeling dizzy and (in the worst case) cardiac arrest are possibilities.
Another interesting thing is, no matter how
little you eat and drink, you’ll be able to go to the toilette almost every
hour, and losing weight becomes really fun, when you can’t keep anything in or down, you feel sick
all the time, no matter what you eat and you burn hundreds of calories every time
you freak out and panic.
The physical problems aside, you’ll get really
fucked up in your head:
Memory is a funny thing, it will keep reminding you of the places and things that make you panicky and it won’t forget how awful it felt like. With time, everything will become a trigger and trying to avoid them will get harder an harder.
Memory is a funny thing, it will keep reminding you of the places and things that make you panicky and it won’t forget how awful it felt like. With time, everything will become a trigger and trying to avoid them will get harder an harder.
Everything in you room reminds you of panic,
your bed isn’t a save place anymore but the thing you need to lay down when you
feel ill and the floor isn’t just a floor anymore but the ground where you
break down on, when everything’s too much.
You start
questioning everything.
Why do I feel so anxious? Is it because i can’t trust my boyfriend any more? Is this weird feeling in my stomach a sign that my friends secretly hate me? Do I even deserve this love? Maybe I need to quit my job or move, maybe something in the air here is poisoning me.
Why do I feel so anxious? Is it because i can’t trust my boyfriend any more? Is this weird feeling in my stomach a sign that my friends secretly hate me? Do I even deserve this love? Maybe I need to quit my job or move, maybe something in the air here is poisoning me.
You become
paranoid.
And you stop
trusting yourself and your body.
Have I eaten enough? Or have I eaten too much? Should I eat something differents than usual? Maybe I’m lactose intolerant? Maybe I’m allergic to water?
I might have forgotten how to breathe?
How do you breathe?
What is oxygen?
What are you doing body?
Why aren’t you able to cope?
I’ll break down any minute now.
This is the end.
I’m gonna die.
Have I eaten enough? Or have I eaten too much? Should I eat something differents than usual? Maybe I’m lactose intolerant? Maybe I’m allergic to water?
I might have forgotten how to breathe?
How do you breathe?
What is oxygen?
What are you doing body?
Why aren’t you able to cope?
I’ll break down any minute now.
This is the end.
I’m gonna die.
Anxiety and Panic
attacks will control you.
You won’t be able to think about anything else anymore, nothing will make you forget of this fear, that overshadows everything. You will be anxious about being anxious an that will result in even more panic attacks.
You won’t be able to think about anything else anymore, nothing will make you forget of this fear, that overshadows everything. You will be anxious about being anxious an that will result in even more panic attacks.
You will feel
like you are going out of your fucking mind. It will feel like you are going
insane, you will be scared of your own thoughts and fear everything your body feels.
You will believe that you are dying.
You will believe that you are dying.
But you won’t.
And writing about it wont ease the suffering, but sometimes it makes you think you are forced to experience this for a greater cause: to talk about it, to inform people, it makes you believe that it isn’t as pointless and unnessary as it actually is.
Rules for girls
Rule #1
Slut – someone who has
a lot of sexual intercourse.
Oh be careful, you don’t wanna look like someone who gets laid a lot –
What will
the people think?
That you are a desireable, attractive woman who lives her
life the way she wants??
And oh my god how do you dare to enjoy sex?!
#Tipoftheday
Remember, a skirt that’s too short says so much about you,
like that you have no
dignity, that you are a prostitute and easy to get
– or maybe it just says
that you got legs and aren’t afraid to be proud of them.
You show those legs,
you got great legs,
they do a perfect job walking you around!
You go legs!
Rule #2
Well, first of all - how about you shave your nasty attitude?
if you think like this, your penis most certainly is not for the ladies.
Second of all, how dare you to comment on a women's or just on another human's body, why do you think it's okay to force your rules upon me and my luscious leg hair?
if i want to shave, i will
if i want to be hairless in summer and cosy and fluffy in winter, so it will be.
if i want to keep every single piece of hair on every part of my body where i grew it over the years - then i'll even braid it for you.
Rule #3
Oh I will.
If he needs head so bad, I will cut of his own head and hand it to him as a present
- no existence without head.
Or I will
use my head, put his penis in my mouth and bite it off,
make him bleed more
than you do in 'that time of the month'
Rule #4
Don’t think about your
health, girl.
The most important thing is that you stay attractive.
You could lay off
the drugs because they are bad for your body and for your mental health,
because they can ruin your life, your relationships, your future and they are
fluffing expensive
– but don’t think about that, think about how you need to be
attractive for a straight male,
and how that’s your only purpose in life.
#ProTip
Maybe he's into drugs and thinks that smoking looks hot,
Maybe he's into drugs and thinks that smoking looks hot,
in that case buy all seasons of "Breaking Bad" and start doing meth asap.
Rule #5
Same here.
Being attractive
is rule number one no matter what.
You little shithead are not fucking allowed to use curse words
because that makes you damn unappealing for guys
and you really need to appear like you give a fuck about those assholes.
#justsaying
Rule #6
Don’t show your
feelings,
don’t treat him with respect
and remember to hide your fondness of
him.
Be mean to him, act like you don’t care about him, hurt him.
The best
thing would be if you could just ignore him and then one day
surprisingly kill his
best friend, kidnap his pet and destroy his car.
Just that, without any
explanation.
They like it the hard way, don’t they?
Rule #7
Recent studies show – if you poop, you got an ass.
In conclusion - you are all allowed to wear leggings!
#PersonalTip
My own studies
show: most of the men and women out there have a butt.
A great butt.
But that
could just be me, I like butts.
Free the butt and dare to
touch it, as long as they're consent!
Rule #8
Don’t you dare to speak up
or to open your mouth
or to use your brain
or
to be a human being with a free will.
Don’t talk to guys when they don’t talk to
you first.
Don’t be polite or friendly, ignore your male friends unless they
talk to you first.
Imagine what a quite place this world could be.
Rule #9
A girl should never know
something a guy doesn’t and a guy should never seek help.
A guy is not allowed to
not care about cars
and a girl is supposed stare at a flat tire blankly
until
a knight in shining armour comes and rescues her.
She doesn’t know what a tire
is.
He doesn’t know what a tire is.
Nobody knows how to change a tire, nobody knows what a car is
- we just time
traveled.
It’s the year 1465 and we don’t have cars yet,
but gender stereotypes still exist.
but gender stereotypes still exist.
Rule #10
Open books about legs,
open your legs and close books,
close your legs
and write a book about blowing guys,
blow up their legs and open guys, look at
their insides and sell their organs,
open books with your legs while blowing
minds with your skills of blowing guys.
Rule #11
That’s right, nobody likes cute people or cute puppies,
look at him like
you want to murder his family,
act like you are a serial killer.
that will turn
him on…or scare him off,
but either way he’ll remember you.
but either way he’ll remember you.
Rule #12
That’s right, charge him for just looking at you,
take his money for talking to you
and make him pay if he ever comes near you.
_________________________________________________________________________
My secret tip of the day, month, year, lifetime:
love and hate
hate
,
love
,
poetry
No comments
Stay
Sometimes i just wanna leave my bed
and open the window and scream from the top of
my lungs:
I STILL
LOVE YOU
But then I remember that I can’t.
Sometimes I just wanna open my door
and whisper with the tip of my tounge:
I tried
to get better for you.
Most of the time I lay in bed and stay there
and stay
and stay….
stay…..
like you didn’t.
like you didn’t.
I’d break every bone in my right hand myself,
if that could keep me from writing about you
I’ll never
be able to stop writing these letters to no one,
the unspectacular tales of
the unspectacular tales of
human beings that don’t matter in
the big cosmos of things,
but that strangely matter so much to me.
I’m getting
tired of not feeling better,
I’m getting tired of writing about you again and
again,
like you are still in my throat,
I can still taste you and I just can’t
get rid of you,
no matter how long or how often I talk about you.
I want to
strangle myself
so that no more words about you will leave my mouth,
but I
guess I’d even waste my last breath
on whispering your name.
I want to
know how your hair smells when I nestle my face into your neck,
but I want to
break it, too.
I can’t
stop thinking about you,
and all the ways I could make you bleed.
I imagine
myself taking care of you, stitching you together
and then ripping off your skin
and cutting you wide open again.
I want you
to know what my heart sounds like at 4am,
but I want you to crush it between
your fingers, too.
I can’t
stop thinking about you thinking about me
and how I poisen your brain.
I imagine
you calming me down, fixing me
and then biting into my flesh and breaking
everything inside of me.
You really
like me, but fuck me anyways.
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