Please handle with care

I feel like everyone talks about it but at the same time nobody really says anything about it – depression, bipolar, personality disorders, anxiety, it seems like almost everybody has to say something about it, so many people suffer from at least one of the above at some point in their life, especially in their young adult years - but mental illnesses and a social life, how does it work?
One of the major problems is the way I want to deal with it in front of other people.
Can I control it enough to not mention it at all?
Does it make me seem weak, if I tell my friends about it?
Or will it make everything easier, because my behavior will seem more normal, if the people around me would know what’s going on?
Those are very difficult questions, not only regarding your own wishes and boundaries, but you also have to consider the needs of the other human being, will he/she be able to cope with the knowledge and are you really that “close” to address something like that, do you trust that person or maybe it will trigger him/her and make everything uncomfortable?

Especially whilst growing up and then meeting new people at your university or starting relationships with a new boy-/girlfriend, those questions might be popping up in your head, you could introduce yourself as a new person, as someone you would like to be or as the person you are on your good days, or you could go all in and just throw every detail in their faces.
I can’t really recommend the last option.
And although the first option seems to be easy at first, you will be under a lot of pressure, acting like you want to be seen and experience even the fear of not to be loved for who you are, but for who you aspire to be one day.
Everything would be easier, if you could just walk around with a ‘please handle with care’-sign and never had to do any explaining. But that’s not how life works.
Tragically, people always seem to forget, that human beings are complex and if you tell them you suffer from an mental illness, they immediately create a picture of you in their head that might not be identical with the actual you.
Just because you say, that you are depressed, it doesn’t mean you sit at home all day, blankly staring at a wall.
Just because you tell someone, that you’ve been diagnosed with a panic disorder and you have difficulties with certain tasks, it doesn’t mean you can’t go out and have fun.
This concept and your individual problem can be so hard to grasp for people, that it’s understandable, that some patients never want to address it in front of their friends, because they can’t really relate to it and they’ll never know, what the other person has to go through. 

If you're reading this, you either suffer from a mental disorder yourself, have a close friend, who's dealing with one, or I sent you this link without any explanation.
In that case, let me introduce my demons: Panic and Depression. 
Both of them have been with me for almost all my life, i take medication and i've been in therapy for over 5 years.
No, sadly it's not all just in my head, but most of it is, that's why it's called a mental illness,
yes, my brain is "sick", no, i can't snap out of it, but yes i'm doing my best to live with it.
No, depression doesn't mean that i cry all day, yes, uncontrolling panic attacks suck, yes, i'm very open about my problems and i'll carry them around on my sleeve, you just haven't noticed yet and no, you won't have to deal with any of this, if you don't want to.
Hi, nice to meet you.

If you don't know what either of those illnesses are, check out the tags "depression" and "anxiety"/"Panic attacks".


As “the friend” you can only guess and try to listen carefully and maybe to some research on your own, and even that isn’t a guarantee, that you won’t make mistakes, treating the person accidentally wrong, because you underestimate or overestimate the illness or that you might break down yourself and can’t deal with it all.
It’s such a risk and makes every awkward social thing even harder.
So the answer is, I don’t have an answer. I know, I’d be disappointed, too.
Reading all this, without being offered a solution can be very frustrating.
But so is dealing with a mental illness, no matter if you suffer directly from it, or through a friend.
All i can say is, that you have to try what works best for you and remember, self-care always comes first, if your (boy/-girl-)friend doesn’t accept you or can’t be bothered to support you, kick them out of your life and take a chance with another person.

 Someday you’ll find someone who’s able and willing to love you for who you are, every part of you and until then, dare to touch your own butt once in a while.