The F-word (probably part 1)
Writing this is very exhausting.
I wrote it several times and then rewrote it and edited parts again and again and i still don't feel 100% comfortable with the endresult. This is such a sensitive topic with so many things that need to be considered and i really struggled to form my thoughts into sentences without getting to emotional or drifting away to other topics like rape culure, homophobia, victim blaming, body shaming or basic human rights.
There are so many things that need to be said about this and i know i didn't even cover half of it, but i really hope that the following text is helpful, informatitive and that i didn't offend anyone who hasn't the same opinion as me.
First of
all, if you haven’t guess it already, I’m a feminist.
And i’m a philanthropist. Yes,being both* at the same time is possible.
I love men, I love women*, I love everyone - regardless of their sexuality or gender identification, and that’s why I want
everyone to be happy, healthy and treated with respect.
I dislike
certain human beings for their oppression or discrimination of other human
beings.
That can be sexist, racist or homophobic.
That can be sexist, racist or homophobic.
In this
case, I don’t even always 'hate' men or women who are against feminism or part
of the patriarchy as long as they leave me be, I mostly ignore or pity them.
Nevertheless I do dislike people who believe in certain gender roles and try to force other people into them or people that believe that men or women are “better” or more valuable than the other gender or people who identify as neither of those two forms.
Nevertheless I do dislike people who believe in certain gender roles and try to force other people into them or people that believe that men or women are “better” or more valuable than the other gender or people who identify as neither of those two forms.
Feminism stands
for equality. This means that feminists want equal rights for everyone.
Surprise, that includes men, too.
If you haven’t noticed, women aren’t the only human beings, that suffer from sexism or the predjudice of gender roles. Feminism is the fight for a society where everyone gets treated respectfully regardless of their gender. It’s about allowing everyone to be who they are and to live their lives in peace and harmony and to get all the oppurtunities they deserve no matter as what they identify or who they love, or how they dress.
Surprise, that includes men, too.
If you haven’t noticed, women aren’t the only human beings, that suffer from sexism or the predjudice of gender roles. Feminism is the fight for a society where everyone gets treated respectfully regardless of their gender. It’s about allowing everyone to be who they are and to live their lives in peace and harmony and to get all the oppurtunities they deserve no matter as what they identify or who they love, or how they dress.
Feminist don’t
disregard men or generalize them or see them as animals and ‘the enemy’, no, in
terms of e.g. the rape culture, feminists
want everyone to be seen and treated as a complex human being, which means, no
more objectiving or sexualizing of any body parts, dressed or not and no ‘boys
will be boys’ or lame excuses about the sexual behavior of some members of our
society.
It means that women as well as men are allowed to dress and drink and flirt without getting abused as long as they don’t hurt anyone around them, which basically means: don’t fucking rape no matter what someone’s wearing, how drunk they or how horny you are.
It means that women as well as men are allowed to dress and drink and flirt without getting abused as long as they don’t hurt anyone around them, which basically means: don’t fucking rape no matter what someone’s wearing, how drunk they or how horny you are.
Men will be
responsible for their actions, which means cat calling, inappropriate touching,
sexualization of shoulders, breasts, butts, legs or the stomach will not be tolerated, because
feminists believe that men are in fact not helplessly controlled by their hormones or thoughtless monsters, but
human beings with a brain and feelings which are equally important as everyone
else’s.
Saying that,
most feminists are women and this really needs to change.
Here’s how feminism helps men:
- your daughters, sisters and wives aren’t longer viewed as sex objects and hopefully can go out in the evening without the fear of being raped just because of their gender or their choice in clothes.
- showing feelings, crying or any form of behavior that’s now labeled as feminine or gay, would be tolerated and totally normal for men, because - newsflash, it’s not only a women’s or homosexual’s thing, it’s part of being a human being and should not be labeled as weakness.
Also I really want to live in a world where words like gay, pussy, vagina and girl are no longer insults, but adjectives/nouns without any negative connotation, because it just doesn't make any sense to use them otherwise.
- imagine living in the 50s, where women were way more oppressed than we are now and had fewer rights, imagine being the one who has all the responsibility for your family, you need to earn all the money, make sure everyone’s save and healthy and if anything’s wrong, it’s your fault, because you should be in control of everything that’s going on.You don’t want that.
Most people I know or ever spoke to seek a partner that’s on the same level in intelligence, education and ability to get stuff done, someone who’s a team partner rather than a baby maker and “pet”, someone who can take control and care of you when you need it and not be absolutely helpless without you.
(disclaimer: yes I’m exaggerating right now to make it clearer)
Here’s how feminism helps men:
- your daughters, sisters and wives aren’t longer viewed as sex objects and hopefully can go out in the evening without the fear of being raped just because of their gender or their choice in clothes.
- showing feelings, crying or any form of behavior that’s now labeled as feminine or gay, would be tolerated and totally normal for men, because - newsflash, it’s not only a women’s or homosexual’s thing, it’s part of being a human being and should not be labeled as weakness.
Also I really want to live in a world where words like gay, pussy, vagina and girl are no longer insults, but adjectives/nouns without any negative connotation, because it just doesn't make any sense to use them otherwise.
- imagine living in the 50s, where women were way more oppressed than we are now and had fewer rights, imagine being the one who has all the responsibility for your family, you need to earn all the money, make sure everyone’s save and healthy and if anything’s wrong, it’s your fault, because you should be in control of everything that’s going on.You don’t want that.
Most people I know or ever spoke to seek a partner that’s on the same level in intelligence, education and ability to get stuff done, someone who’s a team partner rather than a baby maker and “pet”, someone who can take control and care of you when you need it and not be absolutely helpless without you.
(disclaimer: yes I’m exaggerating right now to make it clearer)
With this in mind think again. Why are you not a feminist?
I don't try to persuade you, i just want to understand movements like 'women against feminism' or people you use the word 'feminist' as an insult and associate it with gay women who don't shave and want to see all men die (by the way 'gay' and 'hairy' aren't insults either, i don't feel offended by being called either one of them, neither should you), because they're absolutly missing the point.
Even if you are a priviledged white female, that doesn't feel opressed, this fact is no reason to not support the cause. it's so selfish to think 'i don't need feminism because i'm fine' or 'i think feminism is bullshit because not all men are like that and i'm a nice guy who treats women well' oh, great for you, but try, just for a second, to think outside your little perfect world and think of all the women in e.g. eastern countries or even your neighbourhood, who might not feel the same way you do and who suffer from this society.
You don't have to be "a victim" to be a feminist and you won't get forced to play the role of "the victim" by calling yourself a feminist. Some women are victims, but so are some men and i can't see how opening your eyes to social issues and supporting movements that try to change the way people are treated is a bad thing.
Writing this was difficult. But i'd do it again and i'll probably will, because i'm nowhere near to be done with this topic.
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image source: http://de.dawanda.com/shop/LilyLeFay
"I'd only date feminists" - a social experiment
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Hello, I'm a man and I think that feminism could help me too.
ReplyDeleteI am a man who identifies himself as a man, but who feels limited by society's arbitrary gender roles. When people use "girly", "feminine" or "gay" as insults for certain behaviours, hobbies or appearances, they forbid other people to express themselves. For instance, when I were active in a dancing club, other boys called me names like "dancing queen" or "cocksucker", being fully aware of the fact that I am neither a queen (or even a woman) nor someone who's interested in oral sex with men. This kind of insult is unfair towards everyone who identifies themselves as men and/or women because it implies that it is not desirable to be a woman (as if they were less) and that men aren't allowed to do certain things although they might enjoy it, and it also degrades people who are interested in sexual intercourse with men, thus degrading a man's body as something undesirable. This is self-limiting and self-destructive, in my opinion. Who could possibly want to live in this kind of society?
I trust that feminism could give us what we, as persons of the 21th century, are seeking, i.e. the expression of our personality, a human right! But we must influence how we want feminism to be. In my opinion, if people think that feminism is something bad, something's wrong either with the image of feminism, the feminists or people's beliefs. In some way, feminism might be a utopia, our society probably never will be perfect; but how can someone possibly fight the attempt of approaching a utopia? I don't know what there is to be said against feminism. Some people just seem to be afraid of the term or the false image of "real" feminism and struggle with it, although they probably ARE feminists and want another name for it.
I hope there are people with another opinion who read this blog post and comment it. It's certainly no good to leave people alone with their opinions, we need a reasonable dialogue.