not a love letter
Friday
nights would suck, if you wouldn’t stay up with me just to listen to me
crying,even though you have to get up early the next day and I’m upset about
nothing and everything, just like always.
Long-distance
always sucks, but it’s okay with you, because we still talk everyday about
everything and it doesn’t feel like your're miles away. And I don’t mean this in a
cheesy way, because I hate nothing more than that, just in a it’s-nice-that-you-call-me-just-to-hear-what-I’ve-been-up-to-way.
Of all the
human beings I’ve met in this century you’re one of the few I can actually see
myself still talking to in a few years from now on, not just a brief affair,
not just small talk for months and then silence, but something real.
Right now i
don’t know what i want or need or how i could get it, but i feel like you’re
one of the people that are good for me and who would be able to give me
whatever I need, as soon as I know what that is, or even just stand by me as
long as I’m still figuring it out.
I’m not
good at this. There are a lot of things I’m able to do, but this is hard. I’m not
sure why, maybe because i’m generally not good with emotions and I’m scared of
feeling too much as well as I’m scared of feeling not the right things or never
anything at all.
And i don’t
know why it's hard to put this in words, maybe because i think that any kind of relationship is always fragile
and this one is especially fragile because I put my whole head in it and even a
bit of my heart and I’m afraid you’ll drop it, or that I might fuck it up, and
please, let’s not ruin it.
Now let’s never
talk about this ever again.
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